|
TrekWeb Sponsor
|
|
|
Audible lets you download and listen to a great book at a great price. Start with Star Trek: First Contact. >From the deepest, darkest reaches of space came the greatest threat the Federation had ever faced: the Borg. Only the determination of Captain Jean-Luc Picard and his crew can prevent the Borg from striking at the heart of the Federation and Earth. Listen to a free sample now. |
|
Listen to FREE Streaming Audio Samples Now!
RealMedia
Windows Media |
Posted:
14:04:15 on August 15 2001
By: Steve Krutzler
Dept: Star Trek X
The Dark Horizons web site has posted a full review of the June 20th, 2001 screenplay for the tenth 'Trek' feature, currently titled "Nemesis". The reviewer begins with a mildly lengthy diatribe about how Rick Berman has and continues to destroy 'Star Trek' and then goes into a heavily detailed (read: SPOILERS) review of the movie script. Here are some excerpts:
"Devoid of scope, grandeur, major events, jeopardy or any of the prerequisites that separate a motion picture from a segment of television -- the script reads like a bland two part episode from "The Next Generation" TV show. Even worse, it often resembles fan fiction with its overemphasis on two popular characters at the expense of all others - as well as text that occasionally describes things as "cool." One description to a sequence of William Riker stalking down a hallway is literally: "It's like a scene from €˜Alien.'"
"A more appropriate title for this script could be "Star Trek: Pastiche" since it borrows so liberally from almost every previous big screen voyage, including some of the worst moments from the aforementioned Berman productions.
"
The intent is to recreate a "Wrath of Khan" scenario, lamely attempting to invent a ruthless villain who shares a past history with the Captain along with a beloved crewmember making the ultimate sacrifice in the finale, but the end result isn't worthy of comparison to "Khan." In fact, it's not even on par with the last "Rugrats" movie.
"
The story opens in a Romulan senate chamber, reminding us of scenes near the beginning of "Star Trek IV" as well as all the Klingon politicking throughout "Star Trek VI."
"Instead of the "Genesis" device from II, III & IV - this time the hazardous weapon in play is a strange ray that can destroy all organic matter in its path. The way it's described in the script, it comes off like a flash bulb that can kill.
"
Next, the alleged story shifts to Alaska - for the same sort of insipid, forced and uninspired frivolities that provided introductions to the TNG crew in both "Generations" and the howingly awful "Insurrection." This time, the occasion is the impending marriage of Will "Number One" Riker to Deanna "Betazoid" Troi. For the record, there's major character development in the fact that Riker has grown back his beard. Mixed in is the usual Captain's mid-life crisis and melancholy that we've seen so many times before in both TOS and TNG, along with gobs of unwelcome comedy.
"
As Brent Spiner receives a story credit, he shows great humility by having the character of Data warble the song "Blue Skies." On paper, it comes off as the height of self-indulgence. (At least Riker gets to pull out his trombone, which comes as a poor concession to Jonathan Frakes not being allowed to direct this time out €“ no doubt part of his atonement for helming the previous "Insurrection" debacle, a "straight to video" affair that somehow made it to theaters.)
"
Worf complains about being hung over. Dr. Beverly Crusher merely complains, and Geordi LaForge walks around without the visor which initially gave his character some much needed distinction.
"
Picard and Data adjourn to have a rather meaningless discussion about the passage of time and the meaning of life. Picard claims that the upcoming wedding of Riker and Troi has made him question his own personal choices, namely devoting his entire existence to Starfleet ... as well as not marrying or having children.
"
Picard has grappled with this many times before, even whining about it through tears in "Generations" as well as "Insurrection." Since Picard seems to keep implying that he's incapable of ever having children, it's safe to assume that he must be either impotent or sterile. Perhaps both.
"
Of course, good times are always interrupted in the first reel of a "Next Generation" movie with the rude intrusion of an unexpected "crisis." In this case, it's "an unusual electromagnetic signature from the Kolarin system" that puts the merriment on hold.
"
Picard and company travel to the uncharted planet Kolarus III where convenient oxygen is in abundance and no one feels disoriented since it's topographically the same sort of "Death Valley" landscape we've seen in literally every "Star Trek" movie as well as "Stargate," "Galaxy Quest" and not to mention "Lost In Space."
"
Speaking of the latter...
"
Picard, Data and Worf then ride around the surface in the "24th Century equivalent of a military jeep." Citing great originality, the script describes the vehicle as "a Starfleet version of the jeep from the old television series "Rat Patrol," meaning it can hop dunes and vainly attempt some level of excitement through movement. There are so many little references to other movies and TV shows in the descriptions, you'd swear this script was written by someone whose proudest credits are interviewing the surviving cast members of "Land Of The Giants" for "Starlog" as well as serving refreshments at sci fi conventions. Littered across the face of the planet are the components of a robot. When assembled, it creates a duplicate of Data. Unlike the previously established Lore, this android is minus intelligence or programming -and is dubbed "B-9."
"
Personally, I think this new brother for Data should have been called "Sybot" in an ominous homage to "Star Trek V." As a reward for being lost for seven seasons, Captain Kathryn Janeway has been promoted to Admiral back on earth. She's given a cameo on a view screen and delivers exposition to Picard with a capital "E." Janeway calls to say there's a new "Praetor" on Romulus who's talking peace and conveniently, as always, the Enterprise is the closest available ship to check out this situation.
"
This new leader isn't named Gorkon, but Shinzon. Intermittently, we're shown Data tutoring and bonding with the new "B-9." Beverly Crusher's examination of B-9 thankfully eschews Dr. McCoy's statement about the nascent Spock from "Star Trek III" whose "mind's a void," but she comes damn close to saying those exact same words. (Well, I guess it's because they're both doctors.)
"
Identical to the scene when Kirk's ship met Gorkon's vessel in "Star Trek VI," the Enterprise has a rendezvous with a Romulan warbird, this one called the Scimitar, which decloaks and leads to near identical dialogue on the bridge from the sixth Star Trek movie as well. I'm so glad Berman believes in recycling. After all, it's good for the planet... just not in this movie.
"Picard, accompanied by a few supporting players who need dialogue to qualify for their SAG benefits, and company beam aboard the Scimitar where they meet Shinzon, who we discover is suffering from a strange genetic degeneration that reminded me of the very same thing plaguing F. Murray Abraham's character from "Insurrection." His face is literally cracking apart. Also similar to that character, Shinzon is afflicted with bad dialogue. Picard reacts with shock when he glimpses Shinzon. You see, musical sting, he recognizes something about him.
"
It's then borne out, with some of the most picayune and slipshod logic you'll ever encounter in any screenplay not authored by Edward D. Wood, that Shinzon is actually a clone of Picard! Beverly postulates that he was created twenty-five years ago, perhaps using a hair follicle from Jean-Luc - as if he has many to leave behind in the first place.
"
Similar to the screenwriter, Troi is unable to shed any insight into Shinzon and his motivations since "he's been trained to resist telepathy." So, at this point of the story we have Picard, after questioning his own existence, facing a Romulan clone as well as Data facing a similar doppelganger.
"
Wow, how's that for irony? Actually, a more appropriate name for "B-9" should have been "B-Story." In a horribly derivative scene from a previous TNG episode, Shinzon enters Deanna Troi's mind and mentally rapes her. The end result is her fiance, Riker, is very, very annoyed.
"
It's then revealed that "B-9" is a Romulan creation, designed not only to lure the Enterprise into the immediate vicinity, but to spy and gather information about the ship - as if after all these years there's anything new to learn about a Starfleet vessel besides new menu additions. Also Shinzon, who suffers from the same rapid aging we've seen in both ST III and "Insurrection," needs a sample of Picard's blood with the hopes that it will arrest his worsening condition.
"
Perhaps Shinzon should have been named after the first cloned sheep instead? Picard learns of the Romulan's new weapon, and dubs that if it is used to destroy all life on Earth - "then that would seriously weaken the Federation."
"
Well, I'm glad to know we earthlings matter so much in the grand scope of things. There is literally nothing at stake in this script, and interest continues to wane after each page is turned."
To read more of this rip-roaring ultimate pan of the 'Star Trek: Nemesis' screenplay, click here.
